Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just had sex bonerless
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
