I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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