are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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