Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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