On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
