I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
