No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
