I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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