i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
