how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
