I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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