Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
