Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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