Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
