May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
