Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
