She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
