I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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