Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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