I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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