Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
