You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
