I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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