honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just googled if crying burns calories
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
