I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
