And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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