am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
