it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
