you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
