i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
