i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
