So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
