Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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