if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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