...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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