Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
