I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
