super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
