If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
