FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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