You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
