Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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