I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
