There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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