In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
