if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
