We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
