I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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