This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
