He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
