Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
