I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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